I am (or alternatively, a piece I wrote for a class last year)
Probably one of my better school writings.
I am from incongruity, where climbing dirt hills and asking for designer shoes went hand in hand. I am from comfort, a life full of amenities yet with a mind full of woe. I am from weekly slumber parties, late nights with friends I thought would always be around. I am from the honor roll, a place I used to have a permanent residence. I am from the local shopping mall, where my mother spent my childhood working. I am from constant trips to see family; they happened like clockwork yet each time it was just as hard to say goodbye. I am from the make believe, where summers were spent with my mermaid friends. I am from music, jazz songs my father adored that I despised- I get them now. I am from my family's faith, I hated attending church and often fell asleep, yet the philosophies are always in the back of my mind. I am from the kitchen, the alchemy of recipes a practice passed through generations- to transfer the soul into sustenance for loved ones. I am from solitude, always spending time by myself. I am from inside my mind, a place of good and bad, of all the words I held in. I am from uncertainty, uncertainty of myself as well as others. I am from comfort, yet also having a paranoia beyond my age. I am from the other, wondering why I was not the same as my friends. I am from a place I fit into yet never belonged, always close to peers yet allowed into the same life. I am from self-doubt, wondering why the boys at my school never talked to me unless they wanted something from me.
I am becoming a woman that knows self-worth is subjective, not based upon the opinions of others. I am becoming a woman who is patient with herself, moving throughout the world with grace- for myself and others. I am becoming a woman that realizes not everything is all or nothing, that my ‘best’ can fluctuate. I am becoming a woman who accepts that not everyone will like me or see me the way I see myself, and that that should not have the power to change me. I am becoming a woman that realizes my path is unique, that my worth is not measured by conformity. I am becoming a woman that knows being alone is not inherently bad, that despite the societal ‘norms’ my relationships don’t define me. I am becoming a woman of spirituality, while not the way I was reared but a way that I resonate with more than the other. I am becoming a woman that is not in panic mode all the time, I am learning to breathe and let go of what I cannot control. I am becoming a woman that is resilient, the bad times always come but I am starting to react in a calculated manner. I am becoming a woman that does not let intrusive thoughts rule my mind and life, being able to tell what is real from what is not has been a lifesaver. I am becoming a woman who takes chances, I can do things without knowing of the outcome and seize the opportunities that arise in my life. I am becoming a woman who perseveres, that does not let failures and obstacles hold me down forever. I am becoming a woman that realizes the pitfalls of my home and society do not have a hold on me, if I am not accepted that is fine- I am my own safe space.